Story of a Misfit

May 9, 2018


It’s an odd word I agree – but that word oddly fits me.   But before you can understand the significance of this word in my life – I need  you to take a step back in time to the early 90s.  When I first began to realize I didn’t quite “fit.”  


As a child, I struggled in school, and even struggled to make friends.   I was the “odd” one that daydreamed – of magical whimsical places that were far from my reality.   To make matters worse – I was often bullied and made fun of by those that classified me as odd.  I was a misfit who definitely didn’t fit.  

Growing up – there were only 3 places that I genuinely felt accepted and happy – at the dance studio, in my art room, and at the movies.  These were the places where my imagination ran wild and for a short time I could forget about not “fitting” in.  These were my safe places – that is until the pressure for perfection began to wash over these safe zones as well.


As I grew – the expectation for perfection became overwhelming.  No longer was I allowed to just enjoy myself – but I had to compete to be the best.   This idea of “you can be yourself – but you also have to look, act, and think “perfectly” was awful.   This pressure to be perfect – stifled my creative and made me hide the inner misfit that was inside.  Sadly – this was the reason I gave up art and in essence gave up a piece of myself.   I had convinced myself that if I couldn’t be perfect then why even try. 


It wasn’t until college, when I started to realize this life that I was living – was downright miserable!  Life was meant to be enjoyed and celebrated.  Not paralyzed in fear of letting my flawed quirky self sneak out.  This process of learning to be the real me has taken time and recently I’ve started to realize – the people I admired most in my life were the one’s who were authentic – who were real about their flaws, imperfections as well as their goofy quirky sides.   They were authentically flawed yet brilliantly valuable individuals who invested and changed so much of my life.  



It was then that I learned in order to be me I had to embrace the “misfit” inside.   To be me – with no masks.   By hiding my true self – I wasn’t just robbing myself of joy – but also robbing joy from others who wanted to know the real me.   At that moment – I began to accept the Misfit side of me and letting go of the fake people that were holding me back.   It was freeing beyond words but also terrifying.   But what I learned along the way was – so what that I didn’t always “fit” because in all honesty if someone didn’t accept me for me why would I want to be their friends with them in the first place?   


Now that you’ve heard my story – what is something that is imperfectly magical (or as we say here “Misfitian”) about you? For me, it’s I don’t like traditional watercolor and instead love silly illustrations that make me smile.   

5 responses to “Story of a Misfit”

  1. Linda Ursin says:

    I’m definitely outside the box too :) both when I paint and as a person :) Multipassionate, artist, photographer, all-round creative, intuitive, witch, swearing without shame.

    • Jayne Kuchcinski says:

      You go for it Linda. We.only get one shot at this life, so you cram in as much as you possibly can.
      PS. Love the spirit about you and the way you call yourself a creative witch, that’s the best lol. X

  2. Jayne Kuchcinski says:

    It’s so lovely to learn more and more about my (firstly) acquaintance, now a life long friend-hopefully.
    As a child myself and being one of the 1st children to have parents divorce, I found myself a centre of gossip but found my inner self becoming very mother and brother. That became my life really, not ever caring about myself or what my dreams where but putting my life on a back burner and doing what ever my family or friends wanted me to do.
    Now 34yrs on since I left high school (aged 16), and I still only do what others want from me, never what I want for myself. Although saying that, no-one has ever asked me what I wanted to do, so now I have no confidence in anything I do or achieve nor do I have any dreams for myself anymore. I’m not far off 50 with so much unachieved that I find pleasure in listening to and watching someone like yourself achieve you dream and goal in life.
    I applaude you and your husband as you are both a shining light to someone like myself and a massive example of a dream come true.
    Keep up the excellent work my dear friends and love you both.
    Jayne xx

  3. carol says:

    Love our spirit and creativity! You are an inspiration to me.
    Take care,
    Carol from NH

  4. Martha says:

    From one misfit to another…Thanks for sharing! I can definitely relate.

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